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Things To Consider After Confronting a Traumatic Incident

“Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information on things you may want to consider if you have just faced any form of abuse. I would like to remind you that suggestions on this post should not be taken as medical advice, legal advice, therapy, etc. or as a one-size-fits-all approach. Keep in mind that every individual’s journey of experiencing and navigating through stress or trauma is distinctive because you are one of a kind and no person is truly like you! Experiencing abuse in any form is NOT OKAY, but what you are experiencing as a result of abuse is valid. Please know that healing is not a formula and is not for anyone else to define for you. You do you, and you follow all that you need to follow, to help yourself. If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to Imaara Foundation."

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As always, even after an incident of sexual/gender-based violence, you remain in control over your decisions, choices, and exercise of your agency. No one gets to decide for you or to talk over you, and you are not what happened to you on any account.

The following note offers insights on some of the options you have at your disposal to address the incident and its impacts. At any time, you have the freedom to decide to do any, all, or none of these and no one gets to question your decision or to force their decisions on you.

Following an incident, you have the right to decide whether to do anything about it or not to. Prioritizing healing and well-being, or addressing pressing needs that speak to what you most require at the relevant point in time is well within your right.

If you choose to do nothing, no one can fault you or guilt you into doing something – please know that you are not what happened to you and if you don’t want to do anything about it, it is perfectly alright.

This said, it does not mean that once you decide to do nothing about it in the here and the now, the decision is final. Like consent, this choice is also dynamic and you have the freedom to decide, at any point in time, if you want to address it and how.

Can I disclose the incident?

You have the freedom to decide whether, how, and to whom to disclose the incident. Disclosure refers to the act of telling someone about the incident. You get to decide whether you want to tell anyone, if so, whom you will tell, and accordingly, how much and what you will tell. You have the right to expect any person you tell to keep your story to themselves and to neither disclose nor report on your behalf without your consent and permission to do so.

Can I report the incident?

Can I make a safety plan?

Can I access medical or psychosocial help?

Can I seek legal help?

Should I move out or stay put?


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