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Planning to Stay On in an Abusive Relationship?

“Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information if you would like to stay on in an abusive relationship, to normalize these states of mind and help you feel understood during your journey of growth and healing. I would like to remind you that suggestions on this post should not be taken as medical advice, legal advice, therapy, etc. or as a one-size-fits-all approach. Keep in mind that every individual’s journey of experiencing and navigating through stress or trauma is distinctive because you are one of a kind and no person is truly like you! Experiencing abuse in any form is NOT OKAY, but what you are experiencing as a result of abuse is valid. Please know that healing is not a formula and is not for anyone else to define for you. You do you, and you follow all that you need to follow, to help yourself. If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to Imaara Foundation."

(Image Source: Upperstall.com)


When you are in an abusive or violent relationship, the choice to leave or to stay is yours to make, and yours alone to make. If you decide to stay, it is important that you understand certain pointers:

  • That you may be vulnerable to abuse / harm / violence

  • That you must have a safety plan in place for when things get unwieldy.

  • That your safety remains a priority and you have the full and unconditional freedom to pursue any course of action that prioritizes your safety.

When you decide to stay on in a relationship that has been abusive, violent or a threat to your safety, here are a few things you can consider doing to ensure that your safety remains a priority:


Keep a trusted friend or relative informed of what is going on.

It is important that this trusted individual is someone who listens to you without judgment and is there to support you when you need it. It is important that you let them know that you have chosen to stay, and to let them know of what is going on.

Make a list of all the options you have for an emergency situation.

Evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of leaving and staying.

Keep an emergency bag ready.

Record evidence of any abuse that you face.

If you have children, help them understand that they can speak up, and talk to someone they trust about what’s going on.

Keep sharp objects, weapons, flammable substances and fire-generating devices away.

Make sure to keep a spare phone with important and trusted numbers stored in it.

Learn some form of self-defense to protect yourself against any harm or any threats.

Learn up your escape routes and safe routes to get out of any space within your house that you may be confined within.

Your safety and peace of mind are a priority.

If your abuser wants to change their behavior sincerely, you can be a good form of support for them. It is a good idea to help him find professional help.

Remember to set your boundaries, and identify that you yourself have a threshold that you are entitled to.

Understand that not only the substance use makes them violent.



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