"It began with small things which I at the time did not see as abusive"

Trigger Warning: The following narrative contains content related to experiences of Gender-Based Violence (GBV).

Imaara stands as a beacon of resilience, founded by survivors of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) for survivors. Every aspect of our NGO is crafted with the deep understanding that only those who have endured the harrowing journey of survival truly comprehend its nuances. From our programs to our support networks, we are driven by the unwavering commitment to empower fellow survivors. Each story shared within our community is a testament to the strength and courage that resides within every survivor. Together, we create a safe space where voices silenced by fear and shame are given power. Our mission is not merely to offer aid but to ignite a spark of hope in the hearts of those who have felt the darkest depths of despair. In this sanctuary of understanding and solidarity, survivors find solace, healing, and the unwavering belief that they are not defined by their past traumas, but by the strength it took to survive them.

The Words of an Anonymous Survivor

Gender-based violence didn't suddenly appear in my life; it began with small things which I at the time did not see as abusive, such as controlling behaviour, constant criticism, and always being made to feel as if it was my fault for everything. There was no single dramatic incident; rather, it was a slow process of realisation.

Excessive jealousy, hyper-surveillance, and isolation were presented as expressions of love and concern. Gradually, I noticed that I no longer felt like myself. I was always anxious, constantly second-guessed what I was doing, and instead of feeling safe, I lived in fear. It was then that I understood that what I was going through was not love, but was in fact abuse. The emotional and mental effects lasted much longer than the physical ones. I experienced great anxiety, had low self-esteem, felt guilty and doubted myself. Since I was a child, I had been taught to be patient, to keep relationships going and to keep personal problems to myself. These beliefs made it more difficult for me to realise what was going on and even more difficult to ask for help because of my fear of being judged or doubted.

The point at which I changed my mind was when I saw that I was agreeing to things which I had never believed I could put up with. I then questioned whether or not I wanted this to be my future, and that question made all the difference. I came to see that by remaining, I wasn't being protective of anyone; it was merely being at the cost of my own well-being.

The fact that just one person who would listen without passing judgment made a great deal of difference; after I had stopped thinking that I had to bear everything on my own, the process of healing became much easier. Many people ask why survivors don't leave earlier. The more appropriate question is why abuse occurs in the first place and why we make assumptions about victims who are dealing with circumstances that involve very limited options.

If someone is supporting a survivor, I hope that people had listened to me rather than trying to tell me what to do; survivors require patience, understanding and reassurance, not unsolicited advice. The simple statement, "I'm here for you whenever you're ready," is more than anyone might realise. As a society, we should set up safe environments free from stigma, teach people about healthy relationships and consent from an early age, and stop questioning survivors while making sure abusers are held accountable.

Freedom today is about making choices without fear, about setting healthy boundaries and knowing that our experiences do not define our future. To anyone else on a similar journey: you are not alone and what has happened to you does not diminish your value. Healing takes courage, but your voice matters. My past will always be part of my story, but it no longer defines who I am. I am focusing on rebuilding my life, finding the joy, and creating a future based on safety, respect, and peace.