"I wouldn’t be able to breathe until it went away."

Trigger Warning: The following narrative contains content related to experiences of Gender-Based Violence (GBV).

Imaara stands as a beacon of resilience, founded by survivors of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) for survivors. Every aspect of our NGO is crafted with the deep understanding that only those who have endured the harrowing journey of survival truly comprehend its nuances. From our programs to our support networks, we are driven by the unwavering commitment to empower fellow survivors. Each story shared within our community is a testament to the strength and courage that resides within every survivor. Together, we create a safe space where voices silenced by fear and shame are given power. Our mission is not merely to offer aid but to ignite a spark of hope in the hearts of those who have felt the darkest depths of despair. In this sanctuary of understanding and solidarity, survivors find solace, healing, and the unwavering belief that they are not defined by their past traumas, but by the strength it took to survive them.

The Words of an Anonymous Survivor

When it happened, it felt like the world had come to a halt. The crowd around me seemed to be moving in slow-motion, and all sounds were muffled. I froze. I had no idea what to do, and I just stood there until it was too late. When I finally turned around, he walked away like nothing had ever happened, and I can’t even recall his face. Everything seems like a big blur now.

The event itself had its own impact, but the reactions from people after I spoke up were somehow more hurtful. My own mother didn’t believe me even as I ran to her crying, and still told me to keep it quiet no matter whether it was true or not. My best friend at the time told me it was something that happens to everyone, and that I shouldn’t be going around and making a big deal out of it, and these examples aren’t even the end of it. This did impact my mental health very much, and after the numbness of it went away, I began to feel the reality and magnitude of what had happened, and it made me feel as though it was my fault, as though I was somehow dirty or unclean because of what had happened. After experiencing a multitude of emotions and horrible thoughts, I resorted to unhealthy coping mechanisms as they were all I had. I wasn’t really in a position where I could seek help either, as I felt unable to trust anybody. I wish I had had a better support system and people who didn’t belittle my feelings and experiences. I also faced trouble sleeping and suffered from random visions of the man walking away, and every single time it felt so real that I wouldn’t be able to breathe until it went away.

I’m not sure what helped me move past all of it, and I’m not sure I ever will, but I’m truly grateful and proud of myself as it doesn’t really dominate my life anymore. I don’t think it’s something that can just be forgotten or gotten over, because it gets so intertwined into one’s life and has a role in everything they do and say, which I think most people don’t understand. People often think this is just a minor blip in someone’s life, and that if they are brave enough, they can completely overcome it and leave it in the past. However, I think it can never be something just entirely left in the past (for me at least).

If I could go back and talk to my 12 year old self, I would tell her it isn’t her fault at all, and to scream to the whole world about it. I also think gender based violence shouldn’t have so much stigma around it. So many children go through it, but schools never talk about it or even consider offering support. Many people find it hard to step forward and tell their story, so it has to be something that’s encouraged everywhere, and safe spaces where they won’t be shamed have to be created. People need to stop being uncomfortable around survivors. I’m not sure what to tell others since it’s so different for every individual, but right now I’m at a point I never thought I’d live to see, so holding onto that hope might be helpful. I hope everyone finds a way out of the darkness.