Experiencing Trauma

“Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information on experiencing trauma. I would like to remind you that suggestions on this post should not be taken as medical advice, legal advice, therapy, etc. or as a one-size-fits-all approach.  Keep in mind that every individual’s journey of  experiencing and navigating through stress or trauma is distinctive because you are one of a kind and no person is truly like you!  Experiencing abuse in any form is NOT OKAY, but what you are experiencing as a result of abuse is valid.  Please know that healing is not a formula and is not for anyone else to define for you. You do you, and you follow all that you need to follow, to help yourself. If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to Imaara Foundation."

What is trauma?

Trauma is an emotional response to an overwhelming event – an event which is deeply disturbing. The events typically could include domestic or intimate partner violence, rape, and child sexual abuse, abuse of power, war, and natural disasters. All these are brutal experiences that violate a person – be it physically, mentally or emotionally – and create upheaval in a person’s life making it difficult for the individual to move on with their life like they did prior to the event

Can trauma only occur from physical violence?

Trauma can so be a result of circumstances where there may be no physical violence, but other elements such as loss of control, emotional abuse, neglect, and betrayal. The helplessness and pain can become an intensely traumatic and triggering experience for survivors.

What are the two most common experiences of trauma?

Child abuse and domestic abuse/intimate partner violence.

What is child abuse?

When one talks about child abuse, they refer to abuse inflicted on a person below 18 years, which refers to any actions that can cause potential harm in the child’s mental and physical health and development, behavioral development and social behavior. Child abuse by far includes any other behavior that leads to child exploitation as well. The sub-types of child abuse are:

i. Physical/Verbal Abuse

ii. Sexual Abuse

iii. Child Neglect/Abandonment IV. Incest

Is there a difference between incest and child sexual abuse?

It is important to note that while incest and child sexual abuse could be classified in the same category, it is the difference in the nature of relationship with the abuser and long-lasting effects of fear and a loss of safety with one’s primary caregivers (parents) that make incest a whole category on its own.

What is intimate partner violence?

Intimate partner abuse/domestic violence refers to violence in any romantic or intimate relationships. These include purely sexual or physical relationships and marriages too. Intimate Partner Violence is a broad category, and includes all, physical, verbal and sexual violence, and emotional manipulation. It is important to also include the fact that, in some cases, a history of child abuse increases a vulnerability to abusive adult relationships, as childhood abuse often shatters one’s perception of the world and so, their ideas of “acceptable” or “normal” behavior in relationships

What does a cycle of abuse look like?

The cycle of such abusive relationships has a similar journey:

1. there is the tension building phase, which could be the distant behavior or lack of communication.

2. Then comes the incident – which is the major act of abuse, be it physical, verbal or sexual.

3. This is followed by a reconciliatory period, wherein the abuser usually apologizes (maybe even claim to change), blames the victim or attempts to gaslight the victim’s perception of the abusive event, leading to a phase of “calm” after the storm where the victim is “happy” in their relationship again, having “forgotten” about the abuse before they reach the tension period again.

The cycle repeats itself up until the individual finds an escape from the abuser in some way – be it leaving the relationship or any other way.