Coping with Trauma

“Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information on coping with trauma. I would like to remind you that suggestions on this post should not be taken as medical advice, legal advice, therapy, etc. or as a one-size-fits-all approach.  Keep in mind that every individual’s journey of  experiencing and navigating through stress or trauma is distinctive because you are one of a kind and no person is truly like you!  Experiencing abuse in any form is NOT OKAY, but what you are experiencing as a result of abuse is valid.  Please know that healing is not a formula and is not for anyone else to define for you. You do you, and you follow all that you need to follow, to help yourself. If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to Imaara Foundation."

In the aftermath of any kind of abuse, what is important is the road to recovery and surviving. After trauma, what one needs to do is find safe spaces, be it with friends, or your professors, a romantic partner or therapist – which becomes the beginning of your recovery. It is important to always remember that while surviving through the trauma is the beginning of a healing process; your survival is not necessarily your recovery.

Is trauma really that complex?

The concept of trauma is a complex structure of actions, symptoms, emotions, and sensations. It is hard to classify all trauma or all traumatic symptoms in simple categories, it is always distinct from person to person.

What is one major facilitator in your journey to healing?

One of the major facilitators in the healing journey is language – you cope with trauma when you can acknowledge it and talk about it. It is important to teach yourself the vocabulary, be it through your own research or experiences or through any support system (like therapy) you might have access to; to have the vocabulary to “learn” your abuse and then to be able to “talk about” the trauma is one of the first steps towards recovery. One cannot cope or recover if they are unaware of, or lack the tools to address the trauma they went through.

A case scenario relating to the problem of language tools could be of Shagufta – whose abusive boyfriend “tripped” her or pushed her down the stairs, making it look like an accident. Shagufta, as she shares, for the longest time was confused and “undecided” if it counted as abuse – since he never directly “hit” her. It was the limitations of the vocabulary she had access to that made her doubt her own trauma.

What is the most important, not only for the survivor but for everyone around them, is to acknowledge the abuse and trauma that occurred, as well as the resulting symptoms and other issues. That is the most important step to aid in someone’s recovery and to get one’s self-confidence and agency back.

What are healthy coping mechanisms?

Coping with trauma includes applying positive coping strategies in your life. Healthy coping mechanisms are strategies and techniques that have a positive impact on the individual’s recovery and overall well-being. These can be – starting to acknowledge the abuse, finding an outlet, being aware towards the fact that you weren’t responsible for the abuse, and finding a support system. These social support systems could also be legal or religious institutions, counseling and therapy systems, fellow survivor groups – apart from friends, family or therapy as mentioned previously.

Are social systems important for a survivor of any violation or violence?

Social support systems that uplift and encourage an individual, in any form whatsoever, are crucial to recovery. Recovery can be counted as the moment of reclamation, or at least the beginning of getting one’s sense of agency back. It is not always the case that positive support systems are easily accessible to everyone, but living in a society, it becomes imperative to survive long enough to find systems that aid your recovery to more than just survival.

For instance, Mansi shared a lack of people who would listen to her, including her parents for a long time due to their absence, but later on in life she found people – friends – who were willing to not only listen to her but also support her through it all. This accelerated her healing, apart from therapy. The key is finding a positive system that encourages your recovery and helps deal with the trauma and abuse.

What are some positive outlets to cope with trauma?

Talking about an outlet, it can be any activity that helps you process and release your emotions so you don’t get overwhelmed. This outlet also serves as a distraction mechanism, which is an important tool in coping. Apart from maintaining a daily lifestyle, and carrying out mundane tasks to avoid being disorganized and free to think about negativity in one’s life, finding doing something that is not mundane and has a positive impact on your daily well-being and ability to process and release emotions, is an important part of keeping yourself distracted from constant negative emotions or thoughts, and keeping yourself from “spiraling”. This could be anything – from exercising, to writing or painting, to any other activity that keeps you distracted and also helps release pent-up energy and emotions.

What is the biggest hindrance in trauma recovery?

The biggest hindrance towards recovery is isolation and self doubt. That is why the most important is to find support in people around you, to be a part of the society and use it to shape yourself again. The outlets, the distractions or any other ways you choose to process and release your emotions is a part of reshaping and regaining yourself and your agency.