Emotional Violence: A Pattern of Terror & Manipulation

“Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information on what emotional violence is, its various facets, and the Indian laws relevant to this abuse. What you, as a survivor, are experiencing, post confronting a traumatic experience is normal. What you, as a bystander, are going through while supporting a survivor is absolutely okay and typical too!  If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to Imaara Foundation."

Written By: Pranati Palanivel

What is emotional violence?

Emotional violence involves a pattern of behavior in which the abuser insults, manipulates and frightens an individual in order to control them. Emotional violence can feel as painful and damaging as physical violence and can cause harm to your mental health but it is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize as it can be subtle and gradual (Pietrangelo, 2022) (ReachOut Australia, n.d.).

What does emotional violence involve?

● Gaslighting: Manipulates the truth and makes a person doubt their own thoughts and sanity.

● Name-calling: Use of offensive names to address a person . This might often be disguised as a “joke” but when used to belittle a person it certainly isn’t.

● Verbal abuse: Includes excessive yelling, scolding and the use of derogatory words.

● Dismissiveness: Being constantly ignorant to a person's opinions and thoughts.

● Financial abuse: controlling and restricting access to a person’s own finances.

● Emotional neglect and isolation: Includes withholding affection, keeping a person away from socialization, shutting down communication and disputing a person’s feelings (Pietrangelo, 2022) (Smith, 2018) (Gordon, 2022) (ReachOut Australia, n.d.).

What are some typical signs a person exhibits when they are being emotionally abused?

The individual experiencing emotional abuse by a partner or someone else, usually has:

● low self esteem

● feelings of worthlessness, depression, anxiety or even suicidal ideation and tendencies

● become increasingly insecure

● trust issues

● withdrawal from everyday activities and other relationships

● they act differently after receiving a text/call from a family member or their partner

● they apologize for things that aren’t their fault (Pietrangelo, 2022) (Gordon, (2022) (ReachOut Australia, n.d.)

Who is disproportionately affected by emotional violence?

• The LGBTQIA community goes through an increased amount of emotional violence compared to other genders.
  

• Data from a survey based on school students aged 13-19 in Boston states that 10% were LGBT, 58% were female, 32% were male. On the scale of depressive symptomatology, LGBTQIA students scored significantly higher than the students of other genders. They were also more likely to report suicidal and self harm attempts.

• The LGBTQIA community goes through increased emotional distress because of emotional violence as they remain to be a minority in society and due to the existence of social stigma regarding their community.
  

• While experiencing emotional violence for a long period of time, one might start to feel that there isn’t a way out of the situation and that they deserve it; but remember, violence is never the answer and it is not acceptable in any given situation (Almeida, Johnson, Corliss, Molnar, & Azrael, 2009)!

Want a few tips on how you can deal with emotional violence?

● Prioritize yourself. You do not deserve to go through violence and therefore take care of yourself. A good first step would be to consider visiting a therapist. ● Stop trying to fix them. Realize that you can neither control their actions nor change them by behaving differently. Only proper therapy can help an abusive person fix their behavior. ● Avoid engaging and set boundaries. Walk away from an emotionally violent person . Engaging with an abuser only leads to more violence and heartache (Pietrangelo, 2022) (Gordon, (2022) (ReachOut Australia, n.d.).

Want legal support in India for emotional violence?

Under the Indian legal system:

1. verbal and mental abuse is against the law under the Indian Penal Code (IPC) Act, Dowry prohibition act and IT act.

2. A first legal step would be to seek help from a police officer or a protection officer appointed by the government to assist victims of emotional violence .

3. You can also seek help from an NGO that helps survivors of emotional violence (Matta, 2020).

Want the references for this article?

Almeida J., Johnson R.M., Corliss, H.L., Molnar, B.E., Azrael, D. (2009). Emotional distress among LGBT youth: The influence of perceived discrimination based on sexual orientation. Journal of youth and adolescence. Retrieved August 14, 2022, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19636742/

Gordon, S. (2022). How to identify and cope with emotional abuse. VerywellMind. Retrieved August 12, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/identify-and-cope-with-emotional-abuse-4156673

Matta, A. (2020). Know your rights: Navigating domestic violence laws in India. The Swaddle. Retrieved August 18, 2022, from https://theswaddle.com/know-your-rights-domestic-violence-laws-in-india/

Pietrangelo, A. (2022). Emotional abuse: What it is and signs to watch for. Healthline. Retrieved August 12, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse

Smith, E. M. (2018). When verbal abuse is disguised as a joke. HealthyPlace. Retrieved August 18, 2022, from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2017/07/when-verbal-abuse-is-disguised-as-a-joke

What is emotional abuse? Abuse and violence | ReachOut Australia. (n.d.). Retrieved August 12, 2022, from https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-is-emotional-abuse.